Airplanes and Am Dreaming Again

Hello readers,

Here is another one of my blogs and tonight its a song called 'Airplanes and am dreaming again' I have to say that I miss traveling again. I get itchy feet most of the summer months. I sometimes wonder if I was meant to be a Selkie and God mixed up somewhere. I have been missing the sea.

I know its sad but, I wish that I was out there meeting fans. That was what I had planned last year was to be out there meeting people that were buying my stuff. I hear them asking for me all the time in Austraila and France. It gives me a sense am wanted but, then it also leaves me wishing that I was out there.

Recently things changed with my ideals so much that am not sure that I recongise them and yet I feel like that I owe them so much. I never had normal ones because, that was not me. These people are coming to the end of things that they had to do in their buisness and I feel myself wanting to reach in to save their careers. Now more then ever I feel am ready to meet them and want too. I know that I can take them to the next and save them from what I can see is coming. I just want to be there for them before that happens.

Its sad and weird but, that is the thing I feel like I need to do. When your life is always turning the wrong way (which, mine is at the moment). Its those time that ideals who are either famous or people we look up to are the ones who pick you up and make you go again. I have to say that is more real to me then it has ever been. I have to look at them to know that my writing is going to survie this new stage and am going to come out the other end.

When I was ten something was hanging over my head that I didn't want to deal with and I had to fight for my life. A condition was going to take me early and I said 'HELL NO!' I made up a list and am going to do it. Am going to do this list before I lose this battle and I make this promise to you all.

I wanted to be a famous writer and actress. I am going to do that before I die I promise you. With a wonderful Publishing house and supportive leader like Gina there for me I know that there is a huge chance I can do that now. I know am going to be able to reach the skies and am going to be able to take them with me. I promise that to them and to you. We will be dancing in the stars together when we hit new heights and take in all that we have achieved good or bad.

I want to meet my ideals now because, I want to thank them for inspiring me to keep going and I want to give them their dream back. You see there was words that one of them said and it rose me up out of the fires of hell to do just that. Now I have God behind me and I know that I can get there with us two fighting along side each other, anything is possible. I will have my ideals on that Set and they will be able to have the lives they always wanted. I have already found my doorway in.

I want to be able to help the charities that helped me survie. That would be of course 'Archie and Yorkhill' once I have given them a huge helping hand then I want to move on to help a young man I have never forgotten. Billy Caldwell.

I have of course the more special ones which, are to marry the man who is the love of my life and have a decent family with him. I want to see them grow up proud of their mother and when there old enough (hopefully married) I want to see them have their kids..Once that is all done I will be happy to stop fighting until then am going to keep wishing on 'Airplanes, stars as well as praying' and hoping that I am going to reach where I feel that I need to be.

When the day comes I reach the top I will remember those who helped me get there. I never forget people and I guess that is both a curse as well as a saving grace. Sitting here at 02.34 am I feel more connected to my work so when we reach the top guys then we will be all around a huge table having a meal of all meals realising that dreams can come true.

I have three people to whisper to tonight "Thank you Gina, Bernie M and Tamran" I hope that you three will be sitting at that table having a good time with me. Without you I would be a no one looking to do something or anything with my life. I know am dreaming a pipe dream but, if you don't dream then your not living.

Those are my feelings on that one. I will have my books in montion pictures reaching out to those out there that need me.

Well I think that I will head for bed now and hope that you will be dreaming with me.

The Author

Kristal McKerrington.