Hello Readers,
Well today I've decided to dive into some of my personal thoughts on somethings and talk about the rules I have in my life as well as why I think along with do certain things. The reasons why I'm doing this is, because of all the talk I've been hearing recently and the never ending complaints from fans saying that they don't feel like they don't know Authors or the Author's that they love.
Some of us have Gimmicks (Acts) so that we can have a personal life, some Authors don't do this. However with me, its the real me just a different name so that I can have the privacy that I need to be able to do what I do. I might also dress differently as my real self in order to be able to feel more comfortable, but this is again is down to needing a dividing line. I have to have that dividing line so that I can get away from time to time. For Authors its essential that we get away, that we escape from the 'Front lines' (Public Eye) and are able to craft the work that you essentially love.
This brings me to my rules. I don't tend to give out my real name or even my number, heck not even my very personal email address. When I do give out my number, email address, my real name its because of business or its because that person is a friend. Please don't feel insulted that I'm introducing myself as "Kristal McKerrington", that is my right as an Author. You wouldn't be pissed at a Wrestler if he/she wouldn't tell you his/her real name. You don't judge porn stars for not giving out there real names either. So why would you expect us too?
Even in the days when I use to do Street Hip Hop, there was very few times that my real name would ever appear. I was always under a Gimmick (Act) name, because that was what we needed to do to keep our magic alive. The air of mystery that is in the Author's world is only kept there, because most of us do keep our real names hidden. Our real lives out of what we do and some of us even can create some stories that will have us standing out in fans minds.
So many fans have no idea what sort of hours that we put in to create the books that they fall in love with and even though now we are just a much as public figures as other people in the Entertainment Industry, doesn't mean that we will want to be in that "Limelight" (Public Eye) forever. When I'm at events then yes I do put on the whole "Kristal McKerrington" front, its what people fall in love with and if I do take the time to show those people the real me its out of the respect that I'm shown or its down to a friendship being struck up. Its a lesson that some of us have had to learn the hard way.
There is in some area's a great deal of lack of respect for us Independent Writers/Authors out there and I do see the politics that would honestly rival most of the Entertainment Industry sometimes, but then I also see the same side as the Older more Successful Authors/Writers point of view. I've seen alot of disrespect come either the 'Older Members/Successful' or Young/Wet Behind The Ears Authors/Writing members of the Ebook world. I've seen them disrespect each other and seen the Younger ones/ Less Experienced Authors/Writers tear other people's careers and reputations apart just to get ahead. Being someone that doesn't part take in the Politics, who just listens and is one of the Young Ones. I have to say its made me more than just a little shocked at what does go on sites, review sites, yahoo loops and other places.
I hope that this current trend will soon become a fast thing of the past, however after speaking to some people who are 'Mentors, Veterains' in there own fields and some of there own Industries I know that is far from a reality. Hence why I have my rules and why I do things in a certain way.
Moving on I want to address some of my other rules that has had people talking recently when I was asked some questions by the fans. I thought it was important to share these questions with you along with why these are apart of my rules of survival in the Entertainment Industry and Romance Industry, never mind the Writing Industry in general.
The other reason I'm placing these here is that I am in fact in a long term, fully committed relationship with my boyfriend Ian, who stays clear of my career, because he doesn't want to be in the "LimeLight" since he is a very private man. So that is why there aren't pictures of us together and why he isn't linked to my Facebook/Myspace or any of the other numbers of pages that I have.
Fan's Question... "Would you ever date a Wrestler if you were single?"
(Was asked this since I'm in relations with the Wrestling World right now thanks to the expanding genre of Wrestling Romance that myself and L. Anne Carrington are involved in leading the Writing Industry into. Also cause I've attended a Wrestling Show recently, which has been talked alot about by fellow Authors/Writers and fans a like.)
.......My Answer: 'No, I wouldn't date a Wrestler, because of a number of reasons. Not, because I wouldn't trust them. I wouldn't date them if I couldn't trust them. I do have a very open mind in a relationships and there is certain things that I would be able to deal with there lifestyles, its down to other issues that would take a really strong Wrestler to cover come. I don't believe that such a Wrestler is out there that would ever be able to come up to that mark and make something like that work. Not meaning to cause offence, its just how I see it.
Its more down to the fact with the two separate careers that we would lead, it wouldn't work. Wrestlers are on the road 90% of the time and aren't always able to take there Wife's/Girlfriends/Partners with them and Authors/Writers are either at home working on books or when they are on the Road then they are away at different times. When they are away its work related 24/7 and they don't have the time to be 'with there partners' in any real role. Its about always mingling, make contacts and selling to the fans of there genre. Its about being this person who stands out and you have to give however long that conference is to the fans.
They would properly never see each other. Plus its also has a lot of added difficulty for the Authors/Writers side of things, since we can be painted by the Guilty by Association Brush and it would be vice versa for the Wrestler. There has only ever been one Wrestler that I thought that sort of thing could have worked with, but at the end of the day, again its something that I wouldn't try since it would be a demanding relationship that most men who aren't in show business struggles with and it would be extra hard for them to share there partners with fans.
The other side of the thing is that when writing in some ways you have to have 'an affair' with your romantic hero in your mind. Most men who date female/male Authors and Writers hate this fact, from what I have read/heard Wrestlers are very protective as well as processive over there partners. This would be another area that would test any relationship never mind the fact that the relationship would all ready be tested by the fact the pair would be separated nearly all the time too. See it makes sense now doesn't it?
Fan Question.... "If you were ever single, would you date someone from the Adult film Industry?"
(This was again another random question and have no idea where this person got this idea from. It might have been from the Erotic stories I have done for XoXo Publishing. Who knows!)
............My Answer: Hell No! Here is the reason why. I've never ever thought of that Industry as something that I'm overly found of. It helps when your writing Erotica, don't get me wrong. At the same time it doesn't really appeal to me. There is something about that Industry that does make me feel a little weird. I haven't ever seen the draw to it personally nor would I ever think of anyone in there that I would ever consider someone that you could have a relationship with unless you were ok with open relationships and I'm very much not ok with that. If I'm with someone then I'm with them, if there not faithful then I don't want to know them.
Reason why I say this, is because I've been in the Street Hip Hop World/Drama World where everyone is getting it on with everyone else. To be honest it makes you a very untrusting person after a while and its not something that I have ever got. I wasn't someone who would ever really cheat on anyone. I have done it once and I regretted it greatly. I have been the chick who's been cheated on more times then I can count so I'm sorry to say I wouldn't be interested in an active worker from the Adult Industry.
Fan Question..... "Would you date and have you dated any of your old Crew members?"
(Love Street Hip Hop past questions 'hint')
Yes, we all dated each other at some point or not. It was hard to not want to date each other, because at the end of the day you were always working with each other and were always around each other. For me dating some of them was more about learning to trust them enough to let them through me into the air, to put me into lift holds and for me to generally be ok with them. I was in love with one of the 'Original KittyKat' members and sadly to say he passed on thanks to drugs. We all went through stages when it came to performing, but saying that it was just apart of the lifestyle we were trying to tell the audience in a hundred different ways.
Fan Question........"Did you ever date anyone when you were in Dance after you left battling and became a Trainer?"
(I loved this question!)
Yes I did. I dated my training partner before he cheated on me. It made our dancing alot more passionate and realer. It was hard for him to cope with the Dance World and this is part of the reason why I quit Dance after I got together with Ian. Its hard to have a relationship with your getting felt up by other dancers. I learned that lesson the hard way. There was a great number of relationships that I had that never worked out, because no one could trust each other. I was very open about the things that went on, but it was hard to find other people who thought or were the same. It was a very weird environment to be involved in and the lure to want the attention was hard for alot of them. For me it was so much the draw of the attention. I was looking for someone that understood me and could be with me on a more personal level away from the glitz an glam.
These questions gets me through the second part of my blog since I decided to do a double whammy today for you all. I do have rules regarding to dating in my World and to other Industries Associated with my world. Not that I ever have to worry about them since I am happy with Ian and will not be Single any time soon.
So here is a run down of those rules, I hope no offence is taken by any of the people in these Industries. I just have these rules to protect myself and it could protect other people from heart break if they think what I think is a good idea.
1. Don't Date Active Adult Film Industry Workers.
2. Don't Date Wrestlers.
3. Don't Date Actors/Actresses.
4. Don't Date Film Producers and Production Company Owners.
5. Don't Date Anyone In The Romance World/Writing World.
That is it and I hope this gives you a better insight into me and why I'm more than a different Author with my actions as well as my way of life. I'm sure that I might make a bit more sense to you and I do apologize if this blog hurts anyone's feelings, but this is my own personal thoughts and opinions. That is it.
See you soon, for another in depth blog into my mind.
Kristal McKerrington.
